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Self Destruct

from Nature vs Nurture by Aescer

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lyrics

Poisonous air is filling my lungs as I look at you through all the fruit flavoured smoke
And I'll preach to my world that it's all alright 'cos I know in my heart that it should be!
Yet I'm afraid to be drawn in by all I've become.
I'm watching as butterflies dance on reflections of broken affections between you and me.
But the sight of your smile makes me feel that I might still be human.

And I want to see you tied, bound and gagged on the bed.
Writhing in pleasure and pain as bruises form on your face.
Is this bliss that we're seeking? Is this all that there is in this life,
And I ask myself could there be more?

Should I have lied, should I have cried?
Should I have tried to feel more alive?
Should i have opened my heart and my mind
Now I realise it's time to self destruct.

Hold me! Pull me back now as my fingers curl around his neck.
Is this a dream? How do you see me?
Is this some new trick of life's cryptic fantasies?
Pour me another, I'll race you to heaven.
I never thought I'd see the end of this bottle!

Should I have lied, should I have cried?
Should I have tried to feel more alive?
I need to feel your body against mine
Now I'm dead inside! There's death in my eyes.
Should I have lied, should I have cried?
Why can't I open my heart and my mind?
Why won't you make me feel more alive
Now I realise it's time to self destruct.

I wish I could sleep, but my pills have stopped working.
I'm not bleeding instead,
Feeling smoke in my head,
Feel the ash in my face
As the minutes turn to hours, the light starts to fade
But the colours explode in beauty around your face.

Should I have lied, should I have cried?
Should I have tried to feel more alive?
Now I need to feel your body with mine!
Am I dead inside? Is it time to self destruct?

credits

from Nature vs Nurture, released October 26, 2014

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Aescer Huddersfield, UK

Aescer is a north based upcoming artist and producer. Heavily influenced by Tori Amos, Aescer is mainly a pianist writing songs ranging from gentle acoustic piano tones, through acoustic and electric guitar, to incredibly sequenced digital tracks. Though his music is incredibly varies Aescer maintains a continuous style throughout tracks. Lyrically he tackles issues of mental health and sexuality. ... more

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