The Man Within: Echoes of Silence

by Aescer

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about

Echoes of Silence is Aescer's official first album. It contains re-recordings and edits of tracks found throughout what is now known as The Man Within Trilogy (The Man Within, Dreams and Beauty of Feeling).

Aescer had become disassociated with a lot of the tracks found on the Trilogy and felt that a lot of them misrepresented him. Whilst working on his second album he began to put together what was originally going to be a compilation album of the Trilogy containing the more important songs. As this compilation was developed he began to feed the original concept into the track selection and ordering, until he decided to rework it into a brand new concept album.

The concept talks about personal identity and losing ones self. It covers subjects such as identity crisis, depression and anxiety whilst trying to find ones place in the world and ones purpose to life. The concept was originally conceived by Aescer after the death of a close friend and his reaction to it. All the material written was recorded and can be found on the original Man Within Trilogy. With new tracks written during the recording process Aescer found his style and so Echoes of Silence was born.

credits

released March 14, 2014

Music Written, Recorded and Produced by Aescer
Additional Drum Programming by Imrae
Backing Vocals provided by Mhairi Jackson
Instruments: Peter Chase, Ruth Burton, Sarah Tym (Vln); Ellie Dan, Megan Swinchin (Vla); Chris Ford, Jennifer Gorman (Vc); Anna Drysdale (Hrn), Josh Dibble (Trp), Alex Kyle (DB), Emily Taylor (Ob)
Voice Overs: Sophie Beardshall (Tracks 10 & 15), Charlotte Partt (Track 13), Christophe Vuillot (Track 15)
Thanks to Adam Jackson, Monty Adkins, Alex Tester, Nitin Sawhney, Eve White, Paul Wheeler, Liz Dobson, Jason Harper, all voices on track 12, all members of Huddersfield Acoustic Club and all Friends and Family.

Final Production and Mastering by Imraescer
Recorded at The Lake Studio, Shallow Water Studios
Released 14 March 2014 on Shallow Water Records, album length 79 minutes
Artwork by Michael Ford
all material is owned © by Michael Ford at Shallow Water Music,
Including but not limited to all Music, Lyrics and Artwork. MMXIV

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about

Aescer Huddersfield, UK

Aescer is a north based upcoming artist and producer. Heavily influenced by Tori Amos, Aescer is mainly a pianist writing songs ranging from gentle acoustic piano tones, through acoustic and electric guitar, to incredibly sequenced digital tracks. Though his music is incredibly varies Aescer maintains a continuous style throughout tracks. Lyrically he tackles issues of mental health and sexuality. ... more

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Track Name: Withdrawal Symptoms
There is a memory of grass and woods and energy
A blaze of colours, flashing lights I see when I can't sleep at night.
A loving smile of purity so lost in it's naïvety;
And now a fog of fire and ash so dense that I can't see your face.

I can not sleep, I toss and turn my head in pain
I take my pills and play the game, hoping that I might wake up.
Held to my chest my five-point plan of faith and trust.
Images and abstract shapes; I can't keep them in my head.

The world is here beneath my feet
I'll walk a path from my defeat
To try and dance away the night
And cure my fears and give me sight

And now I know that
I was never meant to sleep as I'm pulled away into my dreams
Now I can see through the fire and the mist
The little boy that's smiling back, waking scared in a pool of sweat.

And now I'm all alone. I can not let them see this.
I can not let them see what's underneath,
I'm scared; the great deceiver my deceive.
Track Name: Blinded
I'm lying here tonight waiting for my mind to
Catch up with my heart and see the wreckage that I've done in here.
This scene is incomplete, I find it beautifully tragic
And I know you'll agree but won't understand.

All my fears disappear
Turning to anticipation
As the feelings flooding through you,
A chance to be free again.

Stains that never wash away
From broken barriers held by dreams,
And I'm alone here cursing and loving your name.
And I don't know.

I'm just a terrified anaemic, nothing's wrong but nothing's right
As I wake up staring at the memories of the fight.
Blinded by a great elation, such a flow of ecstasy.
When nothing's going right understand how it helps me.

Blue and yellow skin, so broken.
I won't ever feel this hopeless.
Coloured water makes me better.
Bruises start to turn back all the shame.
Track Name: The Prison
Where has the hope gone? Where is the happiness?
Left behind when I was gone, and I want to be back with them.
Their names begin to fade, their faces start to fade,
The memories are lost like my tears in…

How I dream, how I hope,
How I wish this prison is not my home,
But it is.

I need an open mind if I am to survive
The hate that surrounds me, engulfs me.
It pains me to see my best friend die, to see someone driven
To such extremes, but now I see I am being driven too.

How I dream, how I hope,
How I wish this prison is not my home,
But it seems to be.

Seeing myself fall to the ground, seeing my life suspended on a thread.
Seeing the thread cut short, see me fall apart.
I thought you promised I'd be safe, you promised this would help me
You promised all would soon be fine. I don't blame you for what happened.

But now I'm reaching out for you, the man within is reaching out for you.

Please come and take all this pain away, it hurts so much.
Please come and release me, because I'm in so much pain.
I sit and hide away, these walls are closing in.
Oh my God where have you gone? Why have you left me here?
I bleed myself to survive and now
I don't know what is home to me anymore

But now I know this prison is not my home.
I know this prison is not my home,
But it seems to be.
Track Name: Jay
Hold your heart before it stops beating and all that's red turns blue.
Soon we can pull apart and I can kill the shrine that I made for you.
You made me what I am today.
The cost was more than you could take.

You shot me, I changed. You trained me and I stay forever in your debt.
Life, fake and overdrawn, short and set to fate. We have no control.
Through sea and sky you'll leave me here
Held with everything that's dear.

And I know a storm has declined.
When will I be free?

Hang my head for shame; shame and loneliness, it's lower then before.
Is there time for me to talk to you?
Can I say what all along you knew?

And I know a storm has declined.
When will I be free?

Must I stay alive and watch you die?
I know I have to stay and try.
Track Name: Something
There's something in the wind,
It's further than I can see.
Is it going to mean anything to me?

Don't look back as we break away,
Just turn your head and run.
Go back to where it all began.

If I'm holding too tight you must make me let go
I'm failing to get what I'm told.
Don't think me evil, I don't think I'm wrong
Just let me grow broken and cold.

I think I've changed you
Is it me or am I just insane?
I don't want to hurt you or put you through pain.

If I'm holding too tight you must make me let go
I'm failing to get what I'm told.
Don't think me evil, I don't think I'm wrong
Just let me grow broken and cold.

There's something in the wind,
It's further than I can see.
Is it going to mean anything to me?

If I'm holding too tight you must make me let go
I'm failing to get what I'm told.
Don't think me evil, I don't think I'm wrong
Just let me grow broken and cold.

Someone tear out my mind before it knocks me down
Tear it and throw it away.
Don't hold back, just turn and run
And maybe we can all be fine.
Track Name: Losing No Tears
Where can I start my story? Where does the joy begin,
And I'm in the place I should be in?
Where I am not hated or feared? Or trapped and alone?
I am home now that I am with you.
You are all my friends, helping me to attend
To the joys of the life we live, a life that wouldn't exist without you.

And I don't want to leave you so I won't grow old and go away,
I'll stay forever with you in your heart, in your soul.
I'm losing no tears after all.

When will the joy be over and why do I have to go?
But not alone, I know you'll still be there.
Helping a heart that is broken, teaching it how to love
And stand above the hate that it has come from.
You are all my friends, helping me to attend
To the joys of the life we live, a life that wouldn't exist without you.

And I don't want to leave you so I won't grow old and go away,
I'll stay forever with you in your heart, in your soul.
Now I'm losing no tears after all.

And I don't want to leave you so I won't grow old and go away,
I'll stay forever with you in your heart, in your soul.
I'm losing no tears after all.
You are all my friends, helping me to attend
To the joys of the life we live, a life that wouldn't exist without you.
Track Name: The Man Within Pt. 1
See him crying, left alone in his poor soul
Holding tight to a world the others sold.
See the lies that rule his life, see him try to escape.

See the man within, he's coming home
To see the life he could have had.
See him sad, see him cry.
He's coming back to take control of my life.

The guards are falling down in front of him.
Fights his way out to the world he should be in.
Now the barrier has gone he can escape.

See the man within, he's coming home
To see the life he could have had.
See him sad, see him cry.
He's coming back to take control of my life.

Holding onto a hope that never had a single chance.
Growing up against the odds that it would ever last.

Now the man within is coming home
To see the life he could have had.
See him sad, see him cry.
He's coming back to take control of my life.
Track Name: The Olive Grove
Taking time off just to find a feeling buried deep inside.
Will I ever find a way to tell you why I feel this way.
And hope had never gone from me I know I see it, it's you I see.
I found this on the olive vine and it's forever in mine.

And I've been there and shown you how to.
And you helped me through, but now it's over.
Things have changed and yet you're still here.

Moving back and forth in time I saw a twilight start to shine.
A fire burning, all sublime, will you ever understand?
I'm losing faith in what I do, you brought me back, it's owed to you.
Taking time off just to find and I found you deep inside.

And I've been there and shown you how to.
And you helped me through, but now it's over.
Things have changed and yet you're still here
Things are different now and yet you're still here.

The walls have changed, the lights burned out
The door is closed and we've run out of
Luck and time and sympathy,
And yet you'll never set me free.

The seas have parted from my path
And still your shadows dark my heart.
The glass is smashed, the wine is gone
But memories are never lost.

The walls have changed the lights burned out
And yet you're still here.
See the dust that's spreading through this room
And yet you're still here.
See the oceans roar and mountains fall
And yet you're still here.
See how everything is different now
And yet you're still here.
Track Name: Light Black Eyes
Who am I? Who are you? Do I know you? Do I love you?
Do I even care anymore? Do I want to? Do I need to?
Have I lost all emotion? All my memories are broken.
Like they were so many years before. I don't understand myself.
You may think that you know me, see me smiling, see me breathing
As you stare into these light black eyes burning deep inside my head.

I don't even know myself, buried beneath layers of dirt.
You can't help me.

If you don't want me to hurt you then run now.
Instability's not a virtue. It's a curse on our souls.
Just because you can't see the black that's within
Doesn't mean it isn't there, everything is broken here.

I don't even understand who or what I am.
What I need, what I want. Who am I?

Hard as I try, there has never been any blame to place.
It's not your fault, it's not my fault,
We're just trapped in our own worlds.
It all looks the same as it ever did.
So many years, and the troubles are still the same.
Nothing damaged has been fixed.
Yet everything's different.

I don't even understand who or what I am.
What I need, what I want. Who am I?

I've listened, but there's no music in my head
As bullets fly and beds are made. Flowing through their sentiment.
I never meant to hurt you. I was honest, when I loved you.
And I never said I'd stopped, I'm just lost, once again.

I don't even remember where I used to be.
I don't know anymore. Who am I?

What happened to you? I can help.
Let me help you. You know me. Trust Me

Trust Me. I can help.
Track Name: Run With the Pack
Hello my king
Can you even remember my name?
Carved in the wood of the door to my room
Where I sit waiting, following rules.

A demon of sorts on my shoulder would say
Escape is impossible and I should stay.
You say I have options yet you give me none.
A winner, a sinner, we all have to run with you.

Don't come and search for me. I've left to find my own way.
Don't be waiting at my door, I won't come.
All the anguish, all of terrible lies will be the death of me.
Watch me run away. In time you'll see
This is why I have to leave.

Only fools could stay in here
Waiting for angels to carry us away.
And wipe all the blood and the sweat from our beds.
Give us a new life carved from the lies in our heads.

Don't wait here.
I don't want to know what it means to be alone.
Don't come and search for me,
Don't wait at my door. I'm gone.

Come come my child, why all the fuss?
Surely now enough is enough.
We're tired of your screams and are tired of the fight.
Screaming so hard, and tears through the night.

I want you to know that you're never alone
I know what you fear but I'm here
& I'll guide you home tonight. You must understand
Your life and your path are not set in stone.

Help me. A voice in my head wants to help me
& I can't help but feel I must take this way out.
Try to be me, all I want to be

Don't let them back don't let them hurt you.
Don't let your heart crack I wont let them hurt you.
Don't be the monster they want you to be, don't be scared to live.
Be hopeful my dear. Soon you and I will be running free.
Track Name: Pt. 2: Barefoot on the Grass
Who am I,
So tall and proud, with stern eye and puzzled brow?
Wandering if proud I really am; who is really inside this man?

Trapped behind his body's walls;
Every shout a solum call
To be allowed out of his cave,
And see the world beyond the haze.
With outer shell so proud and hard
Taking all the pain and scars;
Protecting the man within his heart,
His real soul beyond the stars.
No wander we don't know who he really is.

When he went he promised them everything would be the same.

And still the man within stays hidden away,
Waiting for the perfect day
And if I open up my mind I can see what the world has become,
And he will come and sing the song
Written for the one he lost, calling to the ones he loves,
Knowing they will wait a lifetime.

But as I walk barefoot on the grass
I can lose myself from my past;
And all the dæmons and monsters go
Leaving me peace to dream,
Leaving me peace to love,
Leaving me free.

Well now the man within is free
And you can see what's really me
And all is peace when amongst my friends
And always peace until the end.
The light black eyes of the man within;
The man, free.
Track Name: Beauty of Feeling
Why the face so lost and lonely?
Answer this before you show me
What it really means to be you for a day.

You look so dead and holy,
Has the spirit left to help me?
Has the master left and allowed me to stay?

And I don't care about what happened anyway.
Don't lose your life to those you can't obey.
Don't go.

I saw you where you lay
Your body naked, cold and grey.
I took you in my arms and held you tight.

And I don't care about what happened anyway.
Don't lose your life to those you can't obey.
Don't go.

Why the face so lost and lonely?
Yet can't stop to quickly end it,
Have I left my hope filled mark on you?

And I don't care about what happened anyway.
Don't lose your life to those you can't obey.
Don't lose the beauty of feeling this.
Don't lose you life my dear, it will be missed.
Track Name: Leaving Home
I see, I see there's always a place that I can be
And it's so warm, the way you sing to me.
Please sing some more.

And I will stop at nothing until I am in your arms,
And you can lay beside me and let the sadness pass.

Was once so cold. Too much, too old.
But I am coming back, yes I am coming back.

And I will stop at nothing until I am in your arms,
And you can lay beside me and let the sadness pass.
But I am leaving home now, my life and mind are torn,
And right now I am choking. I can't breathe anymore.

But I am leaving home now, my life and mind are torn,
And right now I am choking. I can't breathe anymore.